iconoclassist | goddamn snakes in my goddamn forest

goddamn snakes in my goddamn forest

[The place: Somewhere in the southwest, where endless desert gives way to grasslands gives way to a forest, the farther out of the rainshadow that created this desert you get. This particular piece of woods...well. There aren't very many settlements there, because the spirit(s?) who lives there employs a very 'stay the hell out of my woods and I don't give a shit what you do' policy of diplomacy.

This probably doesn't mean much to anyone hired to look into a rash of missing children in the towns closest to it.

Of course, most of the mercenaries who were hired tromped in loudly and boisterously, got stuck full of drugged arrows and sent back out with large signs expressing people were still to stay the fuck out of the forest, which would imply the spirit either isn't aware of the children or took them herself. Then the oathbound tried to get in and were also sent out.

Given it hasn't killed anyone, turning to the higher echelon of mercenaries now is a little tricky. So, daggertooth, why are you here, and how are you handling the problem of the angry, angry spirit?]

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...[Squinting at him. Like legit she's staring because she has no idea what the fuck.]

Okay. Then. That's convenient.

[Gesturing, as she picks up her bow. Curiously, she doesn't seem to be carrying arrows but, well. She's a forest spirit she probably doesn't have to?]

Look, this is how this is going to go. I'm coming with you, because this forest changes paths and shapes as it likes and if I'm not with you, you're going to get hopelessly lost and starve to death, if the predators here don't eat you first. And before you ask, it's unlikely the kids have already been eaten, most things won't eat humans if they have other options.

But you don't really smell like a human, so you're...probably a bigger target.

Alright, then. I'll take point. Don't try shooting me.

[Do oggle weird snake man if that if your thing, he doesn't care. He is trying to track by scent still, apparently. A bit unsettling to watch.]

[She's only oggling a little, she's still pretty confused. But he is pretty.

She doesn't shoot him! She does, however, reach out and keep him from walking into a tree that...wasn't there a second ago.]

Careful, there.

[His mana field is weird. He can generate it like a mortal but he seems much more.. spirit-like than anything.]

...Sentient, or just bad luck?

Yes.

[...Staring at him a while longer.] ...This is why I keep people out of this place. Enough people wander in and don't come back out, and suddenly it's 'oh, spirits eat people' and 'let's burn the place to the ground' instead of 'maybe don't wander in the living woods like nothing here can hurt us'.

....Not used to guests?

[He seems both a little exacerbated and amused by how angry she is.]

...This way.

[He's moving faster now.]

Why would I be used to guests--

[She does stop as soon as he starts moving, but she's still very puzzled by his...everything.

Including that ass. How does a mortal get an ass like that. That's just not fair.

Since he is who and what he is, he probably feels the ripple of power as she starts basically forcing the forest to stop trying to fuck with him as they go--as she does, the path starts to get clearerer, the briars pull away from them as they walk, and any number of animals have started popping up to watch because they're curious and having had reason to fear humans or, indeed, demihumans, in generations, and they're curious what's up.]

[He does appreciate the spirit lady helping him out like that, because with her magic and his tracking they're there in a matter of minutes. Not that the kid know what to make of snek and spirit.]

Here. All of you take one of these.

[He'll remove his pack to reveal... flares?]

Light them one at a time. There's a helicopter watching for them to extract you all; when one goes out, light the next one.

...Konstantin.

[She does seem to take a moment to open a clearing in the trees so they can be reached by the helicopter. But something else has her a little on-edge.]

Konstantin, I'd get that damn gun back out if I were you.

[Now that he doesn't have a backpack in the way and he's not trying to sneak up on someone, he's actually going for the rifle slung over his back. On the upside, the helicopter got the message!]

Where?

[She's just...knocking an arrow of pure mana don't you mind her.]

...You know how I was saying everyone gets lost in these woods? Sort of like a labyrinth?

[She fires slightly to the left, seemingly back the way they came, into the ground, so a giant snaring patch of thorns leaps up just in time to fuck up the oncoming charge of the minotaur.

Yep.]

[And that is followed up immediately by a shot from a rifle that in all honesty he shouldn't probably be capable of firing while standing. But hey, nothing is as effective as a gun designed for disabling vehicles.]

We just have to hold them off.

[...Well give her a second to answer, she's now temporarily deaf in one ear, holy shit.

The minotaur, unfortunately, just appears to be angrier. Bleeding! But very, very angry.]

How long until that helicopter gets here? Because between you and me, if that thing gets a hold of either of us I don't think we're defending anything.

[Snapping down another bramble barrier as the thing starts to get free of the first one.]

[It is amazing how fast he can work the bolt on that rifle, even if it looks almost painful for him to fire it standing like that.]

I don't think this is going to work...

...Oh, this might be the stupidest thing I've ever done.

[Grabbing him by the collar.] Listen. You're here to get these children out of here? Then fall back and make sure nothing else gets through.

And no matter what you hear, do not come towards the briars. Do you understand me?

I can do that.

[It's amazing how he apparently just has ice water in his veins, because her grabbing him didn't phase him at all.

He'll break away, falling back, taking up position and just firing away with that hellbeast of a rifle.]

[Well, it's a little hard to see what happens, but the sound--

It's horrifying. The screaming doesn't sound...human. The brambles have grown so thick Shirin's no longer visible as she heads into them, but. By the time the helicopter's arrived, there's nothing but silence. Terrible, impenetrable silence. The minotaur isn't coming, but Shirin hasn't come back, either.]

[Well, here's the thing. He never intended to get out this way -- a helicopter full of kids is pretty much at max weight capacity. So he pulls the line down when the last one is gone and just pulls back again to somewhere that felt a bit more safe; back against a tree.]

[After a while, there's some rustling in the bushes.

And then this...mammal comes out of the bushes. If he's never seen a pine marten before it's kind of like a small, tubelike fox, and this one's wounded but also is giving off way more mana than any normal critter should.

And it's coming right towards him. And chittering in a very pissed matter.]

[Well he snaps to it with the rifle but then stops when he realizes what it is.]

...That's you, isn't it?

[ANGRY SQUEAKING AND CLIMBING UP TO HIS KNEE TO SCOLD.

Shirin he won't understand you like this.]

[He's not even sure it's her, he just scruffed her and tossed her off his leg.]

Hmm. Strange.

[And now he's slinging the rifle and getting back to walking.]

OW.

[Buddy you just tossed her into the brambles.

So the good news is she's human shaped again. The bad news is she's pissed.

And naked. And also grabbing him by the back of his shirt.]

What do you think you're doing? Why didn't you go with the kids?

Wasn't room. Never was room.

[He is very good at just focusing on her face, it turns out.]

Need to find my own way out.

...I told you already, you won't, on your own.

[Siiiighing.]

...And I won't be able to get you out of here in one night. It's been...a long time since I had to fight one of those. I can't do this the fast way.

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