iconoclassist | goddamn snakes in my goddamn forest

[The place: Somewhere in the southwest, where endless desert gives way to grasslands gives way to a forest, the farther out of the rainshadow that created this desert you get. This particular piece of woods...well. There aren't very many settlements there, because the spirit(s?) who lives there employs a very 'stay the hell out of my woods and I don't give a shit what you do' policy of diplomacy.

This probably doesn't mean much to anyone hired to look into a rash of missing children in the towns closest to it.

Of course, most of the mercenaries who were hired tromped in loudly and boisterously, got stuck full of drugged arrows and sent back out with large signs expressing people were still to stay the fuck out of the forest, which would imply the spirit either isn't aware of the children or took them herself. Then the oathbound tried to get in and were also sent out.

Given it hasn't killed anyone, turning to the higher echelon of mercenaries now is a little tricky. So, daggertooth, why are you here, and how are you handling the problem of the angry, angry spirit?]

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...Oh, this might be the stupidest thing I've ever done.

[Grabbing him by the collar.] Listen. You're here to get these children out of here? Then fall back and make sure nothing else gets through.

And no matter what you hear, do not come towards the briars. Do you understand me?

I can do that.

[It's amazing how he apparently just has ice water in his veins, because her grabbing him didn't phase him at all.

He'll break away, falling back, taking up position and just firing away with that hellbeast of a rifle.]

[Well, it's a little hard to see what happens, but the sound--

It's horrifying. The screaming doesn't sound...human. The brambles have grown so thick Shirin's no longer visible as she heads into them, but. By the time the helicopter's arrived, there's nothing but silence. Terrible, impenetrable silence. The minotaur isn't coming, but Shirin hasn't come back, either.]

[Well, here's the thing. He never intended to get out this way -- a helicopter full of kids is pretty much at max weight capacity. So he pulls the line down when the last one is gone and just pulls back again to somewhere that felt a bit more safe; back against a tree.]

[After a while, there's some rustling in the bushes.

And then this...mammal comes out of the bushes. If he's never seen a pine marten before it's kind of like a small, tubelike fox, and this one's wounded but also is giving off way more mana than any normal critter should.

And it's coming right towards him. And chittering in a very pissed matter.]

[Well he snaps to it with the rifle but then stops when he realizes what it is.]

...That's you, isn't it?

[ANGRY SQUEAKING AND CLIMBING UP TO HIS KNEE TO SCOLD.

Shirin he won't understand you like this.]

[He's not even sure it's her, he just scruffed her and tossed her off his leg.]

Hmm. Strange.

[And now he's slinging the rifle and getting back to walking.]

OW.

[Buddy you just tossed her into the brambles.

So the good news is she's human shaped again. The bad news is she's pissed.

And naked. And also grabbing him by the back of his shirt.]

What do you think you're doing? Why didn't you go with the kids?

Wasn't room. Never was room.

[He is very good at just focusing on her face, it turns out.]

Need to find my own way out.

...I told you already, you won't, on your own.

[Siiiighing.]

...And I won't be able to get you out of here in one night. It's been...a long time since I had to fight one of those. I can't do this the fast way.

...Do we have somewhere we can set up safely? Or do you just always sleep under the stars?

[He reaches for his sidearm. Might as well walk with a gun.]

...There's a couple places, but it'll be a hike. And put that away.

[She makes an irritated motion.] What, are you still considering shooting me? Put it away and just...follow me.

[Huffing, and heading off in...some direction or another.]

[He will shrug at her, and holster it instead, following her in whatever direction she's heading for.]

I figured being unarmed with everything that happened was a bad idea.

Look, every other mortal I've met has shot me, I'm still not sure you won't.

[She might be a wee bit tetchier when she's tired. But on the plus side, he's got an amazing view on the way to wherever she's leading him.

...Which is a surprisingly modern looking house in a tree. Shirin, please.]

[He shrugs a bit at that, but he can climb a tree with surprising quickness.]

Maybe try not yelling at them when they're expecting the worst?

It hasn't just been this incident.

[Well, she's up the tree incredibly quickly. And...yeah no the inside of it is actually pretty quaint and well-furnished and you'd almost forget it was a tree-house? She's going to go find some clothes. Apparently she prefers to wear real clothes. huh.]

Sometimes I wonder why I sided with you people, honestly.

You aren't the only one I've heard say that. Also if you haven't noticed, I'm not actually completely human? Or does that not matter.

[He'll just sit down, field check all his gear. Watch the windows. Consider.]

I don't really know what you are.

[Sighing, and coming back out of where she was changing.]

You're not a spirit...and I assume you age and breed through copulation and have to eat and sleep regularly? You're closer to a human than I am.

Demihumanity, is the term used for it. Genetic markers, based on your kinds human form. We're not quite human, but we're only somewhat spirit. Does that help?

[He even offers a polite smile.]

...[Staring at him a while. Considers this.]

...I guess it's not really any weirder than us looking human-shaped, in the end.

It's true, in the end we all appear to be humanity. Perhaps the sign of their overall victory?

[He's moved to actually look out a window.]

...Unseasonably cold.

It isn't...[She stops, and trails off, staring at him.

And then immediately goes into her room and comes back with a huge lumpy looking blanket and drapes it on him. It's soft and probably too warm.]

[No such thing. He is happy with it. And seems to be content to just be a pile of blanket on one of her couches, then.]

Thank you.

...You really are some sort of snake, huh.

[She's honestly a little bit fascinated by this. She's never seen a mortal tamed by a fluffy blanket, before.]

Hey, before you fall asleep there. You need to tell me what you eat...I don't have to, so I won't know.

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